The sun has begun to set and I hang up the smile I’ve worn all day. Though I
will make sure it is the first thing I put back on in the morning because
just in case it is ‘that day,’ I want her to see me at my very best.
I do the normal routine, eat dinner, clean the house, write — the usual
stuff.
And then I lay down hoping to fall asleep quickly so my new day will hurry
up and arrive. A new day with a brand new sun.
But as I lay there and wait for the world to turn half way around, I think
about her. And sometimes I smile, and sometimes that smile will turn into a
snicker, and then often that snicker will turn into a burst of laughter.
And then there are times I get that lump in my throat and that tight feeling
in my chest, and sometimes that feeling overwhelms me and begins to turn
into a tear, and often that tear multiplies itself and I can no longer fight
the feeling and I lose the battle.
Then somehow through either the joy or the sadness I drift and find myself
asleep. Then the dreams begin and keep me company until my new day arrives.
When I awake it’s with such excitement! Because I tell myself this could be
the day that every other day has led up to and the first day of the rest of
my life. I quickly dawn my smile, because I do so want her to see me at my
very best. Then I look out the window even though I know it’s dawn, but I
still have to confirm I’ve been given another chance to find her.
And there it is … the sun, even when it’s cloudy; somehow I still see it.
And it smiles at me and I say “thank you” and I smile back.
Then I ask myself, “Is this the day?” And the excitement rushes over me
again. And then I ask myself, “Where’s it going to be?”
Maybe it’ll be at the water fountain and unexpectedly there I’ll find her
and much more than my thirst will be quenched.
Maybe it’ll be at the grocery store, and there she’ll appear as I’m picking
out fruit and she’ll show me the difference between fresh and spoiled. Then
from that moment, nothing that I will eat will ever taste the same. Because
she’ll bring out the simplest beauties in everything I see, taste, smell,
hear, or touch.
Or maybe today will be the day when my Angel brings an item up to the cash
register without its price tag. And as I wait behind this Angel with all the
frustrated people who are in such a hurry about their busy lives, I will
find myself with such blessed extra time. Just enough time to start a
conversation with this beautiful vision standing behind me that I might not
otherwise would have noticed. But because of a “price check on register 5,”
I was able to find her.
So will today be the day I say, “THANK YOU GOD!” Thank you for the sun,
which began my new day. Thank you for granting me the faith when I arose
this morning that I would find her in this new day. But most of all, thank
you for me not having to ever wait on another sunrise. Because whenever I
want to see it, I will look at her and there it shall always be, in her
eyes, she will forever hold it for me.
She is my sunrise, my dawn, my new day.
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